Thursday, March 3, 2011

Motherhood 101

My husband and I were reminiscing last night about the many things we learned the hard way when we had our little bundle of love. What we really needed was a little prep course on this thing we call parenthood. Here is what my course syllabus would look like...

- How to really pack a hospital bag - preparation H and Lansinoh included.
- How to gain boob access in almost any outfit.
- How to change a baby’s diaper in a public restroom without catching the plague
- How to breastfeed a crying baby while using the bathroom, cooking dinner, talking on the phone...etc
- How to get a handle on the "fire hose" while changing a diaper
- Differentiating between buttered popcorn and your newborns dirty diaper
- How to cut itty bitty fingernails without cutting off an appendage
- How to react when your child farts in public
- How to drive a car with one arm, while reaching into the backseat to hold a pacifier in your child’s mouth with the other

There are definitely more things that us parents need to become accustomed to after having children, but I think the trick of it all is learning as you go along.

Oh, the joys :)


What would your course syllabus look like? Please do share...I'd love to hear.

4 comments:

  1. This is hysterical. I definitely need a refresher course with twin boys on the way. I feel like I'm starting over!

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  2. I am totally dying over this! Seriously, why did everyone miss telling me about roids? I would have to include "How to walk ninja-style silent out of your child’s room at bedtime" or "How to get throw up out between the cracks of hardwood floors"

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  3. Great blog, thanks for your nice comment! If there is anything I can do to contribute to an already awesome blog, I would love to.

    Chrissy
    cshansen11@gmail.com

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  4. Ha ha ha!!! This is hilarious. They are all so true. Especially distinguishing between buttered popcorn and a poopy diaper...I really had no idea!

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