Thursday, March 3, 2011

Motherhood 101

My husband and I were reminiscing last night about the many things we learned the hard way when we had our little bundle of love. What we really needed was a little prep course on this thing we call parenthood. Here is what my course syllabus would look like...

- How to really pack a hospital bag - preparation H and Lansinoh included.
- How to gain boob access in almost any outfit.
- How to change a baby’s diaper in a public restroom without catching the plague
- How to breastfeed a crying baby while using the bathroom, cooking dinner, talking on the phone...etc
- How to get a handle on the "fire hose" while changing a diaper
- Differentiating between buttered popcorn and your newborns dirty diaper
- How to cut itty bitty fingernails without cutting off an appendage
- How to react when your child farts in public
- How to drive a car with one arm, while reaching into the backseat to hold a pacifier in your child’s mouth with the other

There are definitely more things that us parents need to become accustomed to after having children, but I think the trick of it all is learning as you go along.

Oh, the joys :)

What would your course syllabus look like? Please do share...I'd love to hear.


  1. This is hysterical. I definitely need a refresher course with twin boys on the way. I feel like I'm starting over!

  2. I am totally dying over this! Seriously, why did everyone miss telling me about roids? I would have to include "How to walk ninja-style silent out of your child’s room at bedtime" or "How to get throw up out between the cracks of hardwood floors"

  3. Great blog, thanks for your nice comment! If there is anything I can do to contribute to an already awesome blog, I would love to.


  4. Ha ha ha!!! This is hilarious. They are all so true. Especially distinguishing between buttered popcorn and a poopy diaper...I really had no idea!